110 | Harmony in Healing: Eric Haynes and the Power of Music and Hope

Speaker 1:
0:04

Alright, guys, if you're anything like me, you know life is full of change ups, surprises, ups and downs. There's one thing I've learned is everything is temporary, and today's guest, eric Haynes, comes to us and delivers one heck of a powerful story. This one is for anybody looking for a little hope. Alright, you know what time it is, let's do this thing.

Speaker 2:
0:39

I couldn't yeah, I couldn't go into big crowds, nothing it was. It was that bad. When I first met Rick Barker, I met him down in Tennessee. We went, I went down to a CD Baby conference and he was speaking. And then when we came back I had gone to you know, I had gone to Tootsies and like a whole bunch of the places.

Speaker 2:
0:59

When I was down there and my wife didn't get a chance to go with me because she was working and I was talking to her and I said you know? I said you know these places like I mean, they're like, you're like arm and arm, like I mean people are bumping each other. And I said I stayed there for about two hours and I had to go home. And she looked at me and tears started running down her face and she goes, eric, she said three years ago she never could have done that. She said did you realize what she just told me? I said what? And she goes you're in a place like that for two hours. She said you couldn't have done that for 10 minutes, you know, three years ago. She said you've come so far, you know, and it just to me was like wow, you know, it really had you know, sometimes you don't realize the progress that we make until somebody points it out in our life. I think.

Speaker 1:
1:49

Yeah.

Speaker 2:
1:50

Yeah.

Speaker 1:
1:52

And, ladies and gentlemen, that you just heard was from my new I think my new best friend, eric Haynes, coming to us all the way from Syracuse, new York. We had an interesting meeting, my man, we met through the internet, and I don't ordinarily start a show like this. However, it just feels right to let people know, because a word that came to mind as I was prepping today was bravery, and how applicable it is to the musician, the artist, the entrepreneur to be brave, to do courageous things, and you have a very long track record, from what I know, anyways, of being an absolute soldier, quite literally with bravery, and I would love for you to share how we, how we, first met in your words, my man.

Speaker 2:
2:43

Yeah, absolutely. I'm part of Rick Barker's group and he basically mentors people and for musicians and shows them what it's like to be Rick Barker. If anyone doesn't know, he was Taylor Swift's manager for several years when she first came out, and so now he takes it on an approach of helping a lot of people at one time. Well, he's on Instagram and so we all found him and he's got good words and stuff like that a lot of times and so you check out his thing every day. Well, I was going down through because I read the comments a lot of times, because you can learn from stuff like that and I was going down through the comments and I saw Mike's comment about what was said on the post and I thought you know what? It just sounded really interesting to me. I thought you know what? I want to dig deeper because what he said was he was looking to see if Rick would come on to his program, on to his podcast here, and I was like what kind of? I'm thinking, what kind of podcast does he have? You know, I'm like I'm going to check this out. So I go on and Mike's website and I check out under the radar and I'm like, dude. This guy is like I mean, he's talking about helping musicians heal and stay healthy and that, to me, really impacted my life, because for myself, I am a veteran.

Speaker 2:
4:16

I served active duty for 12 years. I did a tour in Iraq from 05-06. So I was over there. I ended up suffering a traumatic brain injury where I fell from a crane. I went about 15 feet full battle gear and I landed on my head and when I came back I wasn't the same and I had a marriage of about 25 years and my marriage was going down. My kids weren't doing well in school because everything that was happening in life and I didn't know where to go. And I say that because here's the thing when all this was happening, I actually pastored a church in Pittsburgh, pennsylvania, for almost a year. I served as a VA chaplain at all three of the major hospitals in Pittsburgh, pennsylvania. So I was serving all these heroes that I looked up to. You know, vietnam that's. I was serving World War II, everything and what I realized was I wasn't taking care of myself, self-help, and so what was happening was I was getting so drained and I realized at that point, as a veteran, I was like I need to do this. So I know what it's like to be a veteran and to go to the VA hospital and I want whoever's taking care of me to have their undivided 100%. And even though these guys thought I was, I wasn't and so I resigned, I said I can't do this. At that point, I resigned.

Speaker 2:
5:52

The next week later, we were going to Pennsylvania to visit my mother we're going to all the kids and I were getting in the car. It was New Year's Eve on 2015. And we were rear-ended by a big Dodge Renn truck. We rolled about five different times. All I remember is I remember the first roll and I remember feeling and seeing the glass from the side. I was on the passenger seat and the glass from the side and the windshield coming up and embedding itself into my face. We rolled about four or five times I don't know how many times and then when I woke up, we were upside down.

Speaker 2:
6:30

Well, long story short, I suffered a major concussion during this accident it took well over a year at UPMC, which is where Pittsburgh Steelers go and get help, where the pirates go and get, and so this really made it even worse. And my mother actually, it was rare that she would come visit us and she called up and she said do you mind if I come down I can help you guys out for a week. She comes down to our house and as she's down there she's like confident stuff and my ex-wife says you know, she was a nurse. And my ex-wife says are you okay, sharon? And she goes yeah, and she goes, you better get checked out when you get back home. She goes back home that week and I get a call from my sister about a month later and she said I went up to mom's house and mom was on the couch. She wasn't responsive. I called the ambulance, they took her to the hospital and I ended up coming up. The last time I actually saw my mom and was able to talk with her was when she came to visit my house. We took a picture with my Pittsburgh Steelers. Terrible towel was the last time I saw her and what happened was I mean, we're talking about a lady that she had never drank in her life, never smoked in her life, nothing. I mean she you know, damn was a swear word to her every time and some liquid I crystallized in her lung and it was very tiny bit, but it was just in a spot that they couldn't operate any other place. They could have done it. They couldn't, and so I lost her and I had already lost my father in 2000.

Speaker 2:
8:21

And I'm going to lead into this because in 2000, it was, I was still in the military and I was called home on emergency leave and so I went to visit my father and we lived in the country and so we have this dirt driveway, long dirt driveway, and I was you want me to push him on in his wheelchair. You know, at that time he had cancer, he had a brain tumor that you know they found, and I was pushing him in the wheelchair and he says sorry, said you know, stop the wheelchair. So I did, and he said what are those things you guys sing in the military, you know, when you're marching? I said you mean cadences. He goes, yeah, yeah that. And he said well, you sing some cadences for me. So I started singing some funny cadences for him and I'm pushing him in and he's like swinging his arms, like, and he could, you know, private would do that's in basic training, you know and singing along and laughing and we're laughing.

Speaker 2:
9:19

At that point I stopped the wheelchair and I said dad. I said no, it's my turn Now. It's 40 years old then. And I said, dad. I said there's something I've never told you. I said I'm a singer, songwriter, and I said I penned my first song at 15 years old. I said would you mind if I sang it to you? And he said I'd be honored son. And right there, to an audience of one, I sang the very first song I ever wrote. It's the first time I ever revealed that I did any of this. Because I did it growing up. I did it therapeutically to help me because, you know, I had low self-esteem growing up and everything. And I sang it to him.

Speaker 2:
10:03

And just as we thought, less than two weeks later he passed. I said to my mother. I said would you mind if I sang it, dad's funeral? My mother kind of looked at me confused. She's like, well, yeah, that's fine, she didn't know I sang. And so so I sang that song acapella. I didn't have it recorded, nothing at that point. I sang it acapella. Now that was 2000. After that my family members were coming up saying I never knew. You sang it, you know, and but yet I wasn't strong enough at that point to come out of my shell. It wouldn't be for 18 years later, when Sierra came along, that I would finally come out of my shell.

Speaker 1:
10:50

My man, you know they're talking great storytelling the power of opening heart. You got. You got the, you got the waterworks going man Over here. That's that's an incredibly powerful story. Thank you so much for sharing that. You know what?

Speaker 1:
11:11

What comes to mind right now after just hearing that and this is why this is such a beautiful connection is because oftentimes we, you know, if we just sit back and listen to other people, their stories of hope, purpose, struggle, all the adversity that they, they take on, really puts into perspective where you are in your life, you know and you know, and you think you've got something really really hard. And then you hear a story like that, not as a comparison, but just as a oh, wow, wow, that's that's what that person has been through. And to get through all of that and be able to come out the other side with such an incredible I mean we've just, we've just met and you've just got an incredible, infectious personality of positivity, you know what, what can be said about coming out of adversity, coming out of the struggle? You know, losing both your, your ma, your pa, the hope that you had like. For so many people it'd be so easy to just give up. Why didn't you. Why don't you join us a week later?

Speaker 2:
12:24

What I didn't share is, after that car accident, for about three years I became an acrophobic and I secluded myself to my home and during those three years I attempted suicide three different times, and so I know how it is to be right there to be at the end, and a lot of people. It's interesting because I shared of it. I was a pastor in a chaplain. I mean I've got a bachelor's in religion, I've got a master's in divinity and I want to tell you that suicide doesn't discriminate. It doesn't have any face, it doesn't have any social status. It doesn't matter who you are, what type of fame, you've got nothing. And it could happen to the person down on the corner, it could happen to the most famous actors. And so for me, it was why I was thinking I wanted to do it is because of I was thinking that I was being kind of a nuisance and I was too much of a problem for the people around me. That's where I went and when I finally realized there was organizations, there was people, there was loved ones, and all these people loved me and wanted to help me, and I didn't realize it because I was in that state and so I went through a lot of, and I did it in a controlled environment.

Speaker 2:
14:03

One of the things I did was EMDR it's eye movement therapy. When you're talking about, I did probably about, I'd say, a thousand hours of different counseling between EMDR, between my past or between my VA representatives. And I put in the hard work and I'm telling you something. I'm telling you when you put that hard work in and then you see the benefit afterwards, my girls are able to see me, my family, my friends, and I realized at that point that my life was bigger than me and that the story that I had was way bigger than me. Sierra, now I'm going to share the story. I wrote my song Free and I had pitched it to someone and when I was in Pittsburgh, somebody said, hey, you should pitch it to this one person, and I was like I didn't even know what to do. I've never done this before, so I sent it to. Her name was Louisa Branson. She's a Grand Ole Opry Hall of Famer.

Speaker 2:
15:16

And so I sent it to her and she's like, well, I like this song. But she says I don't know, what do you want to do with it? And I'm like I don't know. I've never you know, I'd never record anything and done stuff like that, so it was all new to me. And she says, okay. She says, well, you know, I'll get back with you sometime. So about four months later, through four months later, I get a Facebook message saying Eric, I don't know if you remember me, you know, evaluate your song. I'm like, okay, yeah.

Speaker 2:
15:45

I remember you and she said well, she said I have this opening down in Georgia. It was in the state of Georgia. Her ranch called Wood Song Retreat Center and she has usually two, sometimes three conferences a year to where she personally heads them up and she has speakers come in and we learn about music and their first songwriter, singer, songwriter. She said I have one slot. And she says here's the thing. She says it's next week.

Speaker 2:
16:16

At that point I was in a domestic violence shelter because I had left my marriage and I didn't have a home. Yet Alls I had was a clothes on my back and my car and I said count me in, I'll be there. And I drive about 1,100 miles. I drove down, I had money to get a plane, nothing you know and so I drive down, I get out of the car and it's literally at a ranch. I mean they got horses and stuff that makes it really nice for riding. I mean it's very tranquil. I get out of the car and this lady yells to me. She says hey, come here. So she starts talking to me and she said do you know any veterans? I'm like, yeah, I'm a veteran, right. So she starts telling me the story and she says why have this Belgian Malinois? No, malinois, if you look at Darwin, you know a Malinois, a big 70-some-pound dog, 70-some-pound dog.

Speaker 2:
17:06

she was Big dog and they're kind of like a German shepherd, okay, and they're used for secret service, they're used for military, they're used for police, everything they use them to you know, bombs, they use them to everything. So she said I got this Belgian Malinois. And she said about three years ago I actually got her. I say you know, I got her and I just started training her, because Malinois are very they have to have a job. You know, it doesn't matter what, but they have to be doing stuff because they're mind, I mean, they're just so smart. And so she said I trained her as a service dog but I never ended up. I never wanted to give her away. That wasn't my intent. But she said about a month or so ago she said I had this leading from God to give her to a service member who was looking for a service dog.

Speaker 2:
17:54

Well, about a month or so before I had actually talked with the wounded warrior project and they said have you ever thought about getting a service dog? Well, it was one of those things. So I started telling her my backstory and I said listen. I said this is, this is my backstory. You got to hear this. As I'm telling her, she drops to her knees and starts bawling and just says this is why you're here. And I was like what are you talking about? She says Sierra. Sierra is the name of my service dog. She said she is. You know you came down for for your song. But she says real reason, I know you're here now. And she says do you want to meet her? I'm like what are you talking about? She says she's in the van. She says I want to go get her and have you meet her. She jumps out of the van, dude. She puts these huge fricking myths on my, on my shoulders and I bet down cause she's lapping these kisses on me and I mean she is just nosey.

Speaker 2:
18:47

And she just yeah, just like she had known me all her life. And at that point what had happened was I had my keys in my pocket, my car alarm started going off and Trish was who's my friend? She says this is unbelievable. I said what are you talking about? She goes well. What I didn't tell you was Sierra was formerly a bondsmith and gong in the military and special forces and one of her triggers is cell phones and one is car alarms. And she says she isn't flinching. She says she's chosen you as her safe place. She said the question is have you chosen her? And I looked at her as I'm crying and I said listen. I said I chose her before I met her. I said and that night I went back to my hotel room and I wrote the song tears of joy.

Speaker 2:
19:38

That's on my album and the week that she passed away, before I had it recorded, I ended up adding a final verse to it and it says when heavens gates swung open wide and you came prancing in all of glory, sang a song for the hero they accepted in. First you served your country with pride, then you made your mark on earth by being right here by my side through all the joys and turts, never has forepaws touched ground with a heart so pure and true, and that's on my album. We gave her a full service when she passed away, because we wrote. We gave her a ride in the military vehicle and we gave her honors and I got a flag given to me by my VFW commander, my American Legion commander and my daughter actually my youngest daughter. She's very shy, she actually spoke at the service, you know and Sierra saved my life. So it was a combination of music, four-legged guardian angel, and it was just a miracle that I'm still around.

Speaker 2:
20:53

And now I realize that my purpose is way bigger than myself. It's way bigger than my music. It's the journey and the story behind everything that we have and that happens in the people that we meet every day, like you, mike, and your people that are out there that are listening. You know it's giving people hope. It's allowing us to share with some people that may never have felt the strength to speak up about whatever it is they want to do or something they want to take on. Or, you know, it's not just about abuse. It's not about, you know, domestic. It's not about all that. It's about each person individually and what is it that they have always wanted to do or have wanted to dream about and never attempted it? If I didn't reach out to you, I'd never be here today. You know, I've always you just and I think we stated it before the, before the broadcast you know you got to have some balls to do stuff like that. Sometimes you really do.

Speaker 1:
21:57

I mean, it's got to be really, you got to have a lot to do.

Speaker 2:
22:00

And there's nothing you know, and I'm just not afraid to do that. But now we advocate for veterans. Right now I'm in the process of getting a Vietnam veteran. He had Silver Star, he had probably about five or six different purple hearts. We're working on getting him the Congressional Medal of Honor and my buddy that he's a.

Speaker 2:
22:25

Vietnam friend and he. If you look at my Instagram, I actually posted something recently about him. About a year or so ago, I had a chance to see the National Anthem at our, at our stadium, the Met's Syracuse Mets, and he stood by my side. He's the second most decorated veteran Vietnam veteran in all of upstate New York and now now I actually had the honor of helping serve him because of what happened to him overseas and you know he's a hero, he's my hero and the song Tale of Two Vets that I have on my album was literally about him.

Speaker 2:
23:13

When I say rock and ron, that's, that's Ron and myself he's also. He also was a musician and I want to talk about mentorship because if I didn't have somebody take me underneath their wing, I wouldn't be where I am in my career. And by the name of Tom Collier, if you look up held hostage band. They have been up for more Grammys than I can you know even name over the past two or three years. But before I knew him I actually I didn't know what to do with my music and somebody pointed me towards him and he's become such a good friend and he's the type that he always told me he says family first. He still tells me that to this day, when I talk with him, he's canceled tours last minute because you know band members would have major issues.

Speaker 2:
24:20

And he says it's about family. He says you'll always have a chance if you want to go out and to get music and to give music. But he says you know what, your family is going to be, the one that's always there for you. And he said your friends. And he said don't ever forget those people that got you where you are. Don't ever forget those people that long before you know anybody knew Eric Canes, anybody knew you know health hustle, whatever you know, don't forget those people, don't. You know you're no better than they are. Basically, you know you just because you're in the spotlight doesn't mean that that makes me any better than anyone else. And I believe that. I believe that with all my heart. I've come from a, you know, a small town in Pennsylvania and about 1200 people.

Speaker 2:
25:09

When I would grow up, and you know, everyone knew everyone else you know, and and I never forgotten my roots and I never will I had the opportunity a little over a year ago. It was the month that Sierra passed away, in May of 22. I was presented, I was surprisingly presented. I didn't know about it. I don't know if did how she kept it from me, I do not know, but she knew about this. So we're at this ceremony, my friends, there's an organization called 60 for 60.

Speaker 2:
25:41

Moho run their motorcycle group and they advocate for veterans all over. They're doing concerts and everything all year. And they gave me the award 22, the 22 angels award, and what that is. I could, I could get a CMA, I could get a Grammy, whatever. But I'll tell you this much that award right there in what I was presented, and had both my name and Sierra's name, because we speak, we song, write, we, we advocate in things, and that was in recognition of showing, you know, suicide awareness and in our community and everything. And so I could get all these other wards, maybe in my life, but that one will be the most, because 22 22 is the number of veterans a day that commit suicide and because they keep our freedom, you know, and people go overseas and you come back.

Speaker 2:
26:51

You know, you may not look any different on the outside, but I want to tell you and you could attest to this the mental, the mental state of a person we never know. You can't see it. Yeah, and sometimes people are too afraid to ask for help. And I want to tell you, it was until I admitted that I needed help. It was until I reached out and said I'm done, I need it. You know, don't think you're less of a man, don't think you're less of a woman for doing any of that, because it is going to be the first step to the rest of your life. It'll be the thing that just ties you to realizing that you've got purpose in life and you got hope.

Speaker 1:
27:42

Well there's, there's so much to unpack under there. Thank you so much for for sharing all of that. I want to hoop on back to your, your service, because it's clear, like bravery, like I said, bravery is something that's ingrained in you. What, what message do you have for someone out there that may be experiencing something as serious as suicide you know having suicidal tendencies or having thoughts of that feeling that you know it's, it's the end of the rope for for them, what? What was the, what was the moment for you where you knew that, hey, now it's time to reach out? And what words would you have of any guiding wisdom for somebody who feels as though they're there, there?

Speaker 2:
28:28

Yeah, I think the biggest thing and, like I said, you know, I don't know if I mentioned it, but like when the warrior project was one of the organizations that really helped me and but all over the world, you know, the issue with mental health is finally starting to become aware, people are starting to to recognize it. It's been far too long and I think that we need to keep in mind that changes isn't going to happen overnight, but know that by you stepping out, it's going to allow you to get to a point to where you're going to be able to live again.

Speaker 2:
29:21

And so, whether it's a person that you know, don't be afraid to talk to people you know. If you're in those situations, you know, be honest with people, Don't hold your feelings back. Right, I can tend to be a very emotional person. It's just in green to me.

Speaker 1:
29:41

I don't know, is it always in that way for you, eric?

Speaker 2:
29:45

Yeah, yeah, I really have Like even even prior to, prior to service and everything.

Speaker 1:
29:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, you know, I know it's very often experiencing both, both Canadian and American vets, that that's a, that's a learned skill where they can suppress that, you know, feel no, no emotion. They can put that barrier right Like absolutely correct. And you, I'm sure you you had a lot of brothers and sisters in service that were very professional at that.

Speaker 2:
30:17

Very, in fact I was going to share this. It's funny you mentioned I was actually going to share the story. Yeah, this is. This is before Sierra came along. I was working at a factory and I got an offer lunch and I have a friend that he had been in between Iraq and Afghanistan. He did four different tours and the last one was with me and in Iraq, and so I had my first drink with him. We had a Jack and Coke and everything and we got back I mean I never. So anyhow, I had got a call from his wife. She calls me and she says Eric. She says are you sitting down? I'm like, hold on. I said what do you talk about? She goes Eric, are you driving? If you're driving, you need to pull off. So I would, I did. I pulled off to the side of the road and she said Eric. She said James has committed suicide.

Speaker 2:
31:16

And she said he left a note where he'd be for me and things and the thing that was James. James had needed help and about a month prior his wife had called me up and said would you talk with him? And I said yeah, I'll talk with him. And she says I really think that he should go and get seen and stuff like that. And he was very much like we're talking about. He's the silent killer. I mean he's in his mind. That was the type of person he was and he wouldn't share stuff. He was always the one that was there for everyone else but he didn't want people to. He didn't want to be in the convenience to people.

Speaker 1:
31:56

That's very common and that's so common?

Speaker 2:
31:59

Absolutely, yeah, it is.

Speaker 1:
32:01

That's the self-healer, I can fix everybody else.

Speaker 2:
32:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so I had talked to him. I said listen. I said dude. I said you need the help, don't be afraid. I said go get it. So he did.

Speaker 2:
32:16

He ended up going to get in it, and what his wife said, though, is he had gotten on some medications. He was feeling good, and then he stopped them, and that was even worse. That makes it worse because it's almost like somebody going through withdrawal. If they're, say, on crack or whatever it is, it's actually worse than not having the medication at all, and so that's why he ended up doing it, and so, to me, I always remember him, and I always never want him to be forgotten, and for me, it's about being able to bring those numbers down If people want to reach out to me and message me, or if they want to. Whatever I said, this is what I'm here for, this is what we're here for.

Speaker 2:
33:09

Check with your local place, wherever you live, and say look up Google stuff. What is there in my area for Now? Here in the United States, we had the suicide prevention line for veterans, everything. You can call that anonymous. You don't have to. That's a 800 number. You can call that, but yeah, I'm not sure exactly what Canada has for stuff, but I know absolutely that it's got tons of stuff, and especially in the music industry there's hotlines for the music.

Speaker 1:
33:43

Because this is so relevant because of the oftentimes it's financial stress related or it's feeling of self-worth and mental illness. It affects all of us and it tends to happen more to those who are creative because we're more empath. We're more empathy driven. We feel our feelings more often. So the story of your friend going on the drugs, coming off of the drugs what the drugs did was suppress some of those feelings, let them boil up even more so when he did come off. Now we've got an even bigger issue and these are some of the issues that I discuss openly about the treatment of how it's so quick for Western meds to just throw people on and categorize them in boxes Like oh, you're a. This person, the popular one right now is ADHD. Oh, you're an ADHD-er. Now we've got an identity for that, exactly what. It doesn't make any sense. When I was growing up, I'm like no People, just go outside, get some sunlight, get some grounding in, go play with the friends outside, and now it's just like yeah, it just hangs around.

Speaker 1:
34:51

Yeah, exactly Just a normal life, but no, now we've got names for every kind of person, which is part of the segmentation of the population, and when we deal with musicians because we feel so much already that's how one of our creative outlets is totally manifested. It's that much more amplified Pardon the pun. It really is, though. So, yeah, I know, in Canada we've got an incredible nonprofit known as Unison Benevolent Fund for folks that are listening here in Canada. A similar operation happening out of the States is Music Cares. I've had the pleasure of being in talks with both of those. I work extensively with Support Act, also out of Australia, so there are resources out there.

Speaker 1:
35:38

Folks, if you're feeling that darkness, because that is a scary place for anybody who has been in there, it's a place that I wish nobody ever to be in, and I've both experienced myself and also been able to help bring people out of those. So I mean, you nailed it on the head, eric Just got to be able to talk. It doesn't even necessarily have to be to a friend, it's just that you are a professional or a friend or anybody. It doesn't have to be just being able to express your emotions and where you truly are. That is something that requires bravery. We keep on coming back to the word. It's something that many of us aspire, and to have that courage, to be able to step up and say, hey, I need help, that's something that's really, really important, especially in this day and age. It can be so easy to get lost in the metrics.

Speaker 2:
36:33

Exactly, and one of the things I like to share with people is if you've been inspired by whatever to do something I've gone out to town hall meetings to speak and if people around the country, around the world, don't be afraid to talk to your congressmen and women, wherever you are, and just say, hey, would you mind if I took 15 minutes to speak on suicide? Or I speak on getting? Knowledge is power and a lot of times to me, here's what I share with people. A lot of times I think, especially like PTSD.

Speaker 2:
37:18

In situations like this, like you said, you don't have to be a professional, but say you went and you heard, say somebody heard this. Now they know a little bit more about knowledgeable, about certain things and idiosyncrasies that might happen or whatever. And you say you're sitting at a bar and somebody starts to get worked up or something like that. And I think if we had more people being more knowledgeable and hearing other people speak on it and talk about reality of it things, I think there'd be less issues. People could talk to that person or whatever and talk them down. It doesn't always mean that it's going to stop the police from having newcomers, but in a lot of cases, a lot of times it's just because people don't know what to do.

Speaker 1:
38:11

Yeah, it's awareness.

Speaker 2:
38:13

Yeah, they see a person with a service dog or they see a person that might have whatever they have and to them it's like, oh, they're in their mind. Your segregation is like, oh my, they got a disease. And it's like, no, it's not PTSD, it's not a disease. It could strike anyone. And I believe if a lot of people look introspective at some point, they might have a small part of it somewhere because of things that have happened. It's just a matter of how we handle it. And if we attack and we say I need to take care of this, definitely, like I said, when you see the other side after and I had that opportunity my girls still are able to see me. I met my wife. I actually proposed to her on stage with yeah, you were saying that man.

Speaker 2:
39:13

Yes, yeah, I'm glad she said yes, but I had this. This was before Sierra passed and we were on stage. I had sung a song to her and I brought her up on stage and I dropped this four by eight foot banner that said Angel of Love, which is a song I wrote about her for that specific moment, and it said Cinderella, will you marry me? So I dropped it. She didn't see me drop it, she didn't see me pull the string. So she's like, just look around and people are going, they're pointing up. But she turns around and Sierra helped me give her the ring and yeah, and that was on stage and things, and just I would have never had that moment.

Speaker 2:
40:00

I would have never been able to share my music and share my story. And as a kid, I would always be the one singing in his room. I would always be the one that had BMI the records. I'd have them sent to me every month. I'd have my orders every month. I mean I was always that guy, but I was never. I was always too afraid to step out because I had that self-confidence issue. I was too. I thought I wasn't any good or I thought, and it's like you don't know until you try something.

Speaker 1:
40:37

I was going to say what was the moment for you. How did you know? How did you know the day where you, and then was it like once you did it, once was it. Oh, I can do this.

Speaker 2:
40:47

OK, yeah, I'll tell you where it was. Yeah, ok, there was an open mic and I'd never done one before, I mean, I'd never done anything like that, and I sang a little bit in church and stuff growing up, you know, like that, but nothing, nothing like on stage, and I was the center. And so this is when Sierra and I first met and I had this ugly I won't even show the picture, it was so ugly, these, these shorts and shirt, like I thought it was like this patriotic thing, and I looked like I was like, oh my gosh, so we, I go to this open mic and they kept I know what they did, I know they kept on pushing me to the back of the line because they're like we've never seen this guy. I don't know, you know they're on about presentation.

Speaker 2:
41:40

Ok, you know, so, yeah, so. So then it's like past midnight and they're like oh, Eric, eric, he's coming up, and by that point there's like four people left, you know, I mean say most of them, you know most of them are wiped out. Yeah, they're just like oh yeah.

Speaker 2:
41:57

I'm like I don't care, there you know, and I say, and they didn't, they didn't care, and but I realized, I realized at that point, you know, she gave me the strength and confidence to get up there. When I got in front of those people about a month later I think it was I ended up planning a benefit concert for our local dog shelter that actually gives service dogs to men and women. I had a benefit concert and it just, it just is morphed. It's really morphed from there. It's a passion, it's a love and you know, I always said, even if I I just had the chance to sing to my wife in the living room, like I did and I do, I was, like you know, that'd be more than amazing.

Speaker 2:
42:46

And now, like I'll be traveling my wife and I do a lot of traveling Like I'll get a call in the airport. Hey, you know, you did this concert at like we I would do before covid, I could go to like a lot of the, the homes of, like you know, older folks and stuff and concerts there too, and I would. And so, like I get calls from, like their kids to say, my mom gave me your card, you know, and I got this problem and, like you know, just out of nowhere, like I didn't know these people and yeah, it's you putting yourself out there and looking at like the things come.

Speaker 1:
43:22

The coming up for me is that you know, for those who are feeling like, oh, this is hopeless, and they're like their music career is maybe on its tail, dive down into dark, deep waters Like well, there's so many different ways to measure success and the thing that is consistent with especially the mindset technique of the music fit method is you get to determine what that means. You know, something that came up I made note with when you were talking about being, you know, ptsd and being a disease and if we had more knowledge. One thing that you did say was knowledge is power, knowledge is power and applied knowledge is even more powerful. So it's it's one thing to have it all here, it's one. It's another thing to action it Right.

Speaker 1:
44:11

One of the books that came to mind I'm interested, if you've had a chance to read, is the Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Vander Colt.

Speaker 1:
44:22

That is an incredible. I'll make sure that I link that both in the show, but I'll make sure I get it to you after our conversation here Because that book they did extensive reviews actually on veterans that had experienced traumatic, traumatic things and when they had come back they put them into somatic therapy where you can actually feel like you can relate the emotion and the feeling to a sense in the body, and that's what the title means the body keeps the score. So that's one of the biggest practices that we do when people are trying to. It can be very light, not nearly as deep and heavy as PTSD, but it could be like simple things, like creativity or goal setting or that fear of getting up on stage or the imposter syndrome. I'm really not as good as everybody thinks and I'm going to be outed. Where do you feel that? What is the sensation coming up and where do you feel that in your body? And that's usually.

Speaker 2:
45:27

What if they give you that?

Speaker 1:
45:28

yeah, exactly. It's usually related to an experience 20 years ago when you were a kid and great aunt told you you couldn't play ukulele while she was watching dinner. That's a true story of somebody that I've worked with. It's like that's what stopped you from getting up on stage. And in a minute they get there, they go, oh, and they realize it's a story, it's a narrative, and they go, oh, well, and then they have the agency. They go, oh, I can choose to subscribe to that story or not, and now you can make moves.

Speaker 1:
45:57

So, like what you're saying, the thing that's coming up for me is success is really self-determined. Like whatever your success means. Like maybe, yeah, you're not going to be up on Billboard top 100, but you can go and make an impact. Who's making more impact? The person with 100 million followers? Is that even a number? Yeah, sure, let's go with that. How many followers they have? Or the person that's going into community centers and playing some music and really making a difference in young adults' lives or older populations' lives, where they don't necessarily have that access to the same kind of entertainment? Who's making more impact? What does success mean to you? There's so many variables, so getting clear about what your purpose is. That's what I've really taken from this conversation. You've got a very direct line between what Eric Haynes was and what he didn't want to be, and now what he does with all of that, after being through literally the trenches right Multiple times and dude, just kudos to you to be able to share that message and inspire people all around you. That's beautiful.

Speaker 2:
47:15

Yeah, and I do share with people because I can be very candid in what I share. But I would advise people, though if you're going to share your story in a setting like this, don't force yourself to be so open that you, I am, but I put in the thousands of hours to get to this point. You'll know when you're ready to do something, and it'll just happen. But I choose to do. I believe it's my mission, I believe it's my passion, my calling. But I would say be brave and do what you feel comfortable doing, but don't do something until you're ready, but at least share with somebody, say, hey, I've thought about A, b or C, whatever it is, and share with them, because you're not going to know. I want to know if I hadn't asked you.

Speaker 1:
48:16

You never know what can you say Exactly, what can you?

Speaker 2:
48:19

say you can say no or just not answer. I mean, it's that way with anything. My buddy's like hey, don't be afraid to ask people. I'm not going to know unless you ask them.

Speaker 1:
48:32

Clarity, clear, conscious conversation. It really is One thing I know we're getting up to the time here today and one thing I've been on my mind here since we started talking is what kind of music did you start listening to when you were a kid? What was the moment? A record or something where you're like, whoa, I want to do that, I want to be a singer, or something. I want to share my message.

Speaker 2:
48:58

Yeah, and this goes back to my story about my father in the wheelchair, right? Okay, there's a song called the Walk, a band called Sawyer Brown. They actually were found out by Star Search. They actually won Star Search in 1982. And the song is called the Walk and that really before I wrote the song A Father's Legacy which is on my album, that song just so depicts my father and I's last walk and it talks about how we grew up together and how we would go through all this stuff throughout his life. And then all of a sudden he realizes that he's got cancer and that he's suffering. But he says I'm going to take this walk with you anyhow. I know what's going on, son. He said don't worry, it's going to be all right. And that was me. My father and I would go. I've seen Sawyer Brown probably five or six times in my life and we've seen Alan Jackson, randy, all these country singers. But I mean, I'm well-rounded, I listen to all sorts of music. I just can't sing at all.

Speaker 1:
50:10

That's the trick with all of us.

Speaker 2:
50:12

You've got to specialize you know you've got to specialize. But Mark Miller, here's the thing. I say this because Mark Miller he's a lead singer from Sawyer Brown and it's my goal and my hope someday to sing the walk with Mark Miller, the lead singer from Sawyer Brown. And it made such an impact in my life, because of the situation and the story that I ended up having with my father, that it impacted me so much that one day I mean I'm going to continue to say to people hey, you know of course can you help me?

Speaker 1:
50:53

Of course.

Speaker 2:
50:55

Mark Miller's out there and they just put out like the 36 album or 37. I mean they're like freaking, like they're amazing, I mean, and they just keep on making hits. But that song just impacted me so much because of my father and growing up and I just, you know, to this day, you know I long to do that.

Speaker 1:
51:15

One thing that comes to mind are you familiar with the word abracadabra? Yes, yeah. What do you think of when you hear abracadabra? Yeah, yeah, I think Magic, yeah, great answer. That was a good question too, right? Magic, yeah, yeah, yeah. Most people think magic or you know, but Bunny from the Hat. And here's the answer Exactly, abracadabra.

Speaker 2:
51:44

I love that song, man.

Speaker 1:
51:46

So here's the thing though that's coming to me, eric, is that you've positioned the next question very excellently. But before we get there is when we say, when we speak out into the world and what you're doing is innate, like what you're doing is like a testament to how you just know, you just inherently know. You don't know why necessarily, but you know that this is what you're going to do. Abracadabra is Aramaic, for with my word I create or with my word I influence. This is why it's so important in such an integral part to the music fit method, because we're singers, were songwriters, were artists, were creatives that are putting our words, aired, usually with music, out there, and it can either hurt, haunt or harm, or it can help heal. By you saying and this is where we lead into the next question.

Speaker 1:
52:41

Finally, as we're wrapping it up in here, one of my favorite questions to ask is what's the dream lineup? By you saying that it's my dream to sing the walk by Soar Brown with Mark Miller. Who else is in that lineup? Dream lineup for you? Because you're manifesting it, you're putting it out there. This is where it's going to happen. So I want to give you the opportunity. Who else is on the stage man? Who else is in that, in that cast?

Speaker 2:
53:07

I've already gotten that answer and you didn't ask me this. I had the time either. Luke Collins would be one, justin Moore would be another. Them two guys, along with Soar Brown, have impacted my life. Great, just, you know. Garth Brooks, I mean, I don't think he tours much anymore.

Speaker 1:
53:28

Oh, he helps him out for you though.

Speaker 2:
53:30

But he was. But here's the thing I mean, he transcended, you know, country music. I mean he put country music to the next level, you know. I mean people were like, is this guy, you know? Because he started out rock and roll. I don't know if you know that or not.

Speaker 1:
53:45

Yeah, I did, I did.

Speaker 2:
53:47

I was in Garth Brooks before and he started out as a rock and roller and he's like I just don't know, this is just for me. And then he became country, but if you notice, you could still see that rock and roll part of them, for sure. Joel and stuff on stage. I mean, he's an entertainer. Yes, one day I want to, if I get big enough, I want to. I want to. Oh, what do you call it? Zip line down into the stage. That's what I'm going to do.

Speaker 1:
54:16

That's my thought. Yeah, I love it, I'm going to zip line.

Speaker 2:
54:19

He flew around, but I'm going to zip line in, Of course, but yeah, it just is so awesome. I mean I love, I've always loved, I've listened you know, all my life to these people and they're just great. They're great, they're, you know, and the history of country music, you know it happened far before them, but if you, if you listen to, like Garth, you know some of his, some of the people that, like he looked up to you know. I mean, yeah, Waylon, and Johnny, and yeah, oh absolutely, he puts them in his songs.

Speaker 2:
54:50

you know, and on the same way, you know, I love that. And in my album, my album is all about the journey. It really is, with the exception of my my one rap song on there.

Speaker 2:
55:01

And I love that song on there, but with the exception of that one, all of it is telling about what's very similar to like what we talked about, yeah, and in my books coming out this summer. So it's, it's a matter of, like you know, the first book. It's going to be the first of probably two or three, but right, but the songs I write are part of the journey.

Speaker 2:
55:24

You know, whether it's people I meet and I hear stories from them, and then I take that and I go, wow that, because a lot of people see me and they're like, wow, you know, this is so great to meet you, stuff like that. And then they start telling me these stories and you know, I'm like you don't realize it, but I said you made an impact on me. You know, it's not. You know, just because I'm the one that that's up there, just because I'm the one that you know gets interviewed, whatever you know the impact that they make in their stories, I could, just I could tell you countless stories, and from from these people I'm sure you do, because you you get enough, you know, from you know things like that. And so well, I threw one at you when I first met you, you know, and I met my. Yeah.

Speaker 1:
56:13

I actually met my wife online.

Speaker 2:
56:15

We actually, we actually met on a dating site and that's how I knew when I pressed and this sounds funny when I pressed send, send my first message to her, I knew right then that she was the one I it was. It was that it was that big. Yeah, I didn't tell her that the first date, but about the second week or so. Yeah, I told her.

Speaker 1:
56:36

Don't want to scare her off, right off the top right.

Speaker 2:
56:38

That's exactly it.

Speaker 1:
56:41

But, eric, what's really coming through and I just really want to show my my, my gratitude and my appreciation is that you inherently know there's oftentimes we think these are are synchronicities or happenstance or coincidence. And oftentimes, if you've ever read the book, there's a book by oh, what is his name? It just it's One Mind by Dr Larry Dossy, and it's it's often he explains, it is like it's it's not so much the coincidence we, we try to compartmentalize it that way. It's oftentimes we just we aren't able to see, you know, the angels or the, the, the, the levers and the pulleys behind the scenes that are making these things happen.

Speaker 1:
57:24

It's all, it's a divinity, right? It's all like everything is happening for a reason. You've got a program, a path, and like your, your instance, where, where you met your, your pooch, you know your, your Sierra, and where you thought you're going for the song and the moment that you got to sing the song to to your pops, you know all of those things were all in in a certain order, even if we didn't know it. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:
57:48

Yeah, that's what's really coming through strong today.

Speaker 1:
57:51

Yeah, and I would love to close because you've given me so much here in a really love that I also want to be very mindful of, of your time here as well. Sure, one, one final question for you, because if we could drip feed all of this, there's so much value. What's the one piece of success for anybody listening out there in order to maintain that hope, maintain and find that purpose or create that purpose, despite the greatest struggle? What's that one piece of that top secret piece of success for them.

Speaker 2:
58:31

Yeah, don't, don't accept no. Don't accept no for an answer If you believe that you can do better or that you know. If somebody says no to you, you know what it's, just one. It's one no closer to a yes, whether it's pitching pitching to a label, whether it's, you know, recording, you know, with whoever it doesn't matter, whatever it is your one no closer to a yes. And if you keep that mindset, my buddy, they have not gotten the Grammy. They've been nominated like probably 26 different times.

Speaker 2:
59:11

You know what. You don't stop. You just keep right on and and always give your best. Always give your best. And you know what Character is. Is it to me? This is what my father taught me. You know your character is the only thing that you can go to sleep at night and know that if you've got true character and you believe that what you've done was right, you you're not going to lose sleep over. You know it doesn't mean that everyone else is going to think it's right. It's that time, when nobody else is around, that you step up and you do what's right, even in the face of whatever, whether it's danger or or courage. You know, because you know it costs. It costs big time sometimes, but you know what it's worth it.

Speaker 2:
1:00:01

You know it's definitely worth it All right.

Speaker 1:
1:00:05

Well, wise words, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first under the radar. And, eric, before I let you go, I have one request, one request You've got a lot of titles, you wear a lot of hats, just like me, man. You're a singer, songwriter, you're a vet, you're, you're a, a, a loving husband, you know you, just, you're just a great dude and I'm curious to be interested in, in adding, um, adding a job to your title, to the resume. You interested?

Speaker 2:
1:00:34

Uh, I'm sure I would be. Yeah, what would it be?

Speaker 1:
1:00:37

Radio DJ. I'm so inspired to hear one of your tunes here. I would love for you to give me the the late night FM DJ voice and introducing so we can play out the show today with one of your tracks. How would you be up for that?

Speaker 2:
1:00:53

Absolutely it's. It's funny that you mentioned that because my wife says you've got a DJ voice. She's like so insane, so insane that I'm going to close with Angel of Love, the one that I asked my beautiful bride to marry me with and thankfully she said yes. But Angel of Love by Eric Hange you can check us out at EricHanesMusiccom. Check us out on all our social media's YouTube. We've got music videos and everything like that, and we appreciate so much you having us on mic and everything this is. This has been so wonderful and and just such a blessing to be able to share our story and we want our story heard. We're on the world. We really do. There's just so much to it and we're just so blessed to be able to be where we are today and and to be able to hopefully inspire others.

Speaker 1:
1:01:40

Yeah, appreciate you, man. Thank you so much. You heard it here first. Guys under the radar, eric Hange. Thank you so much for your time and space and energy. My man and we'll play that track out again one more time for the people in the back. Angel of Love by Eric.

Speaker 2:
1:01:57

Williams, my life has been filled with things that wasn't kind. Looking all around, love left me in the blind. Your bright lights shine. On the January night Revoiced the form of CPR to this loud line heart of mine.

Speaker 2:
1:02:30

Love is if prepared in a book. She is my angel of love, my match of precious dust that fills my heart each day with love. She's my angel of love. Love is if prepared in a book. She is my angel of love. My love is now filled with a love that is true, a fairy tale, happy ending. Thanks to you. Love is always with this, my solemn vow, knowing we have one another now, I promise this day to heaven before this love I have for you will never grow. She's my angel of love. Love is if prepared in a book. She is my angel of love, my match of precious dust that fills my heart each day with love. She's my angel of love. Love is if prepared in a book. She is my angel of love. Like a lighthouse spotlight in the middle of a storm. You shine your love in this relationship of yours. Love is like a real life fairy tale, the real of praise, charming, making our one love trail. Every day is new. The part is true, I can't get enough of you, cause you're my angel of love.